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Adriana Kraft

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hot sex after fifty

Stay Sexy ~ Have More Sex!

December 15, 2013 by Adriana Kraft

Okay, you know this column is all about staying healthy, vibrant, exciting and sexy across the life cycle.

Did you know that having sex more often might make you look younger?

Just a caveat – staying sexy isn’t so much about looking younger as it is about feeling younger, staying active, taking care of our bodies and enjoying what our bodies can do, whatever they look like.

But here’s a tidbit of research that was featured this past week in Yahoo Shine, in an article called “10 Surprising Ways to Look Younger.”

Alongside traditional (and not so surprising)  research-based advice to lower your blood pressure, get more sleep, and avoid smoking, item #5 reads as follows:

“5. Have More Sex
In one study, a panel of judges perceived people who had regular sex (four times a week, on average) to look 7 to 12 years younger than their actual age, according to Superyoung: The Proven Way to Stay Young Forever. Researchers say that sex spurs the release of human growth hormone, which may help timeproof your skin by promoting elasticity.”

And the great thing about this? You don’t have to have a partner to accomplish it – solo sex counts just as much as sex with someone. Every orgasm improves blood flow, balances hormones, and boosts collagen, all contributing to that healthy (satisfied?) glow we’d love to shine with.

Looks like a win-win to us!

What do you think? Leave us a comment – better yet, subscribe to our monthly newsletter (upper l.h. sidebar) and leave a comment to be entered for this month’s prize, a $10 gift certificate to Amazon or ARE.

 

Have fun, and Stay Sexy!

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Filed Under: Stay Sexy Tagged With: hot sex after fifty

Stay Sexy ~ It’s Hard Work

August 18, 2013 by Adriana Kraft

I have a vivid memory of our now-grown son running up to me after his first day of kindergarten, beaming as he shared his important news: “Guess what, Mom? Hard work pays off!”

Here’s a fact baby boomers need to know if you want to stay sexy through these next decades: It takes a lot of work. Couch potatoes aren’t sexy, pretty much, and the time-worn phrase use it or lose it applies, too.

So here we go – what does the hard work consist of, and how do we keep it going?

1)    Move your body

The direct payoff of aerobic exercise and strength training for our sex lives is well documented. We’ll look better, feel better, have more muscle tone, develop more stamina, have better orgasms…the list goes on. If you’re not used to moving, you can start small – and it never pays to set expectations too high, in the beginning. That’s a set-up for failure and disappointment. Find something that works for you (we like Xbox 360 Kinect Dance Central and Extreme Makeover, as well as dance classes), something you like, something you can see yourself maintaining over the long haul, and above all, just start. Any day you do something is a day you’re not a couch potato. At our house? Forty minutes a day, almost every day. Hard work.

2)    Eat well

Yes, to stay sexy, we have to be careful about what we eat. Pay attention to what foods – and how much – you need for a healthy, balanced lifestyle, as opposed to a quick-fix diet. Because my husband is a cardiac patient, we’ve developed a repertoire of delicious, satisfying heart-healthy main meals from which we rarely stray. Whole grains instead of refined flours. Fruits for dessert instead rich baked goods. A baked apple, with cinnamon, four or five pecans, and just the tiniest touch of butter, instead of apple pie, and pour a little 1%, almond, or soy milk over it instead of ice cream or whipped cream. There are lots of resources out on the web (see item #4 below) to help with staying both delicious and healthy in our eating habits. Yes, this takes discipline.

3)    Be sexual every day

With your partner, if you have one, but fly solo if you’re alone. Guys may adapt to this more easily than women, since guys typically have an average of eleven daily erections during waking hours. But many sources recommend an orgasm a day for overall health, and even short of orgasm, keeping that cock or pussy active and well-rehearsed will pay off in greater sexual stamina, increased ability to achieve and maintain arousal, increased comfort with penetration and overall ability to enjoy sex.

Kegels are a good place to start, for both men and women. Exercises that help sustain blood flow for the penis, and toys or play that keeps a vagina stretched and ready to receive are additional options.

And if you have a partner, sharing a little TLC, cock-training, cuddle time, adult film watching or reading out loud from your favorite erotic romance can keep those endorphins flowing and improve your overall connectedness and well being, even if it doesn’t always lead to intercourse or orgasm.

4)    Exercise your Brain

We all know that the brain is the most important sex organ – to establish and maintain arousal as our bodies change, we’ll want to keep our brains as primed as possible! I’m not just talking crossword puzzles and Sudoku here (though I do lots of both). Keep learning things, keep finding new and stimulating topics that spark your interest. One of our favorite coffee hangouts has the motto “life is short – stay awake for it.” Works for us!

5)    Learn how to talk to yourself

It’s all about motivation – we all have those days when we just don’t feel like putting in the hard work. It’s okay to skip a day once in a while, but it’s crucial to pick it back up once we’ve taken that break and keep it going. Learn what your prime motivating factors are and practice using them: what threat or reward is most likely to get you up off that couch and following your regimen again? I have several – here are a couple of them. It took me years to get rid of those love handles that used to hang over the waistband of my jeans, and I don’t want them back. Yes, that’s vanity – whatever works! I also have the specter of dementia and Alzheimer’s disease hanging over me on both sides of my gene pool, and there are certainly mornings where that fear alone drives me to get back at it. When the going gets tough, know what kind of pep talk to give yourself.

6)    Build a support network and use it

Keeping up with all these practices is very hard work. Sometimes self-talk alone still isn’t enough to keep us going or to re-start the engines. We need buddies – cheerleaders, even, who can encourage us, teach us, and light the way. People in your support network don’t have to be privy to your deepest sexual secrets – they might not even know staying sexy is an important goal for you. But maintaining sexual health is so integrally connected to all other aspects of a healthy lifestyle that anything your friends can contribute to keeping you on track will spill over into the rest of it. Cheerleaders, workout buddies, mentors, fellow travelers – we all feel better and live better when we’re connected to others in these ways.

Share what you’re learning

For my husband and me, writing this column and writing our erotic romance novels have both contributed beyond measure to keeping us vibrant, healthy, excited and sexy. For one thing, hardly a day goes by that we’re not talking or learning about something sexual. What works for you? What have we left out that you would never do without? How do you re-boot yourself when it starts to feel too hard? We’d love to include reader comments and ideas in future columns, so drop us a comment or an email.

Have fun – and Stay Sexy!

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Filed Under: Stay Sexy Tagged With: baby boomers, Health, hot sex after fifty, Stay Sexy

Stay Sexy: The sexiest thing you can ever do…

February 10, 2013 by Adriana Kraft

…is get your heart rate up there!

Okay, so you already know being sexy probably has to involve our hearts – we want to be sexy with the person we give our heart to, right? And after all, this week is Valentine’s Day, so talking about our hearts is a natural.

But here’s the thing: elevating our heart rate into that aerobic target zone, even a little bit, does something magical for both our bodies and our brains. Turns out it helps us be both more desirable and more interested in being sexy!

Body-wise, it helps us burn fat (and, if you saw our Stay Sexy column last week, you know having sex burns as many calories as lots of other forms of exercise). Plus, there’s more, according to the Mayo Clinic. It makes our metabolism more efficient. It’ll improve our stamina, in case we’re aiming for a marathon session. It reduces pain – maybe that’s why my migraine episodes decreased as my workouts increased. I’ll take it! It revs up our immune system, reducing our likelihood of getting sick. And, naturally, it’s good for our hearts. It strengthens the heart muscles and helps clear out our arteries by boosting our HDL cholesterol (the good kind).

Did that list sound sexy? Not so much, by itself – but even just sticking with what it does for the body, I’ll look better, feel better and live longer, and that’s sexy.

The brain magic is even more impressive – and less well known. According to Dr. John Ratey, in Spark, spending time in our target heart rate zone decreases depression, reduces anxiety, relieves stress, decreases dementia in later life, and even increases our brain capacity. Personally, I think that’s very sexy – I’ll be happier, more relaxed, smarter, and possibly even more inventive!

I hope this list of benefits has piqued your curiosity – I’d love to answer questions about how all this works (see, I told you it makes us smarter 🙂 ). Stay tuned – in future Stay Sexy columns, we’ll be sharing more personally about the impact this information has had for both my husband and myself.

In the meantime – Happy Valentine’s Day, have fun, and stay sexy!

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Filed Under: Stay Sexy Tagged With: baby boomers, Health, hot sex after fifty, sexy

Stay Sexy!

February 2, 2013 by Adriana Kraft

Announcing our launch of a new weekly column, Stay Sexy, where we’ll bring you everything we’ve learned about staying sexy and healthy.

Stay Sexy!

What comes to your mind when you see those words? For me, it’s about staying vibrant, healthy, excited about my partner, open to new experiences, creating variety…and, oh yeah, writing the erotic romance for two, three, or more that hubs and I so enjoy.

It’s hard for me to separate what we do from who we are. We invest a great amount of time and energy in staying active and healthy. Our activities feed our writing, and our writing definitely feeds our activities!

By now you readers know he and I are both baby boomers, that special group of folks born between 1946 and 1964. I’m not saying exactly when, but we’re not the youngest members of the cohort. If you’re younger than us boomers, you may not have run into many of the health challenges we face as we age – but, the more you stay fit and sexy in your youth, the fewer preventable problems you will face. It goes without saying, the better your sex life will be in your fifties and sixties!

For all the above reasons, tomorrow we’re launching a weekly feature on our blog aimed at sharing tips we’ve learned along the way for keeping vibrant, healthy, excited and sexy across the life cycle. We’re calling it Stay Sexy, and we’ll be running it every Sunday.

We’ll continue to scour the web for new information, tips and resources and bring you the best ones that catch our eye. Sometimes we’ll simply share something that happened to us and what we’ve learned from it. And we’ll be reaching into the romance writers’ community, featuring interviews with some of your favorite authors who are also on the road to fitness and health.

It’s all about one of our tag lines, Hot Sex at Any (Legal) Age. We love to write it, we love to read it, and we hope to embody it. We’re excited to be sharing that journey in this new way with you, our readers.

Be sure to check us out tomorrow, February 3, when we get behind the so-called myth: does sex burn a lot of calories or not?

Stay sexy!

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Filed Under: Stay Sexy Tagged With: Health, hot sex after fifty, sex, sexy

Sex Positivity, continued.

January 16, 2013 by Adriana Kraft

Every morning I troll my FaceBook “Likes” looking for posts to share with readers. Hubs and I write erotic romance together because we love it, we love great sex, and we want to be part of helping our readers not only find hot spicy reads, but expecially find joy and pleasure in their sexuality.

Two posts crossed my path this morning and they kind of go together. The first is from Life On The Swingset – a real-life swinger who is blogging about his journey in the lifestyle. He came out about his poly lifestyle to a friend, and it cost him the friendship. Here’s the blog LINK. Go like his Facebook Page, if you’re looking for a window into the poly lifestyle.

The very next post in my feed was from The Pleasure Coach (another page I highly recommend you “like”) – it was the graphic below:

So I always reach back to the Sex Positivity credo (with a shout-out to sex blogger Charlie Glickman) when I run into these things: There are only three criteria for judging any sexual act.

  1. that it takes place among consenting adults
  2. that it brings pleasure to the participants
  3. that it brings no harm to anyone involved.

That’s it. Period. No judgment, no censure, no shame in someone else’s choices, as long as it meets these criteria.

So that’s my hope, on this mid-January day in 2013.

Go have some intensely erotic, normal fun!

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Filed Under: Stay Sexy ~ Stay Healthy Tagged With: hot sex after fifty, Sex Positivity, Swing Lifestyle

It’s a Tough Job…

December 17, 2012 by Adriana Kraft

But somebody’s got to do it!

“Research,” I mean. No, not that kind, though hubs and I enjoy our share of that, too.

I’m talking about combing the web every morning for the latest tips, guides, and resources to spice up your sex life. Of course, we hope you include sharing sizzling scenes from our erotic romances – that’s why we write them, after all.

When we find something we like, we share it on our Facebook PAGE – hop over there and “like” us to feed our finds into your Facebook newstream.

Already we love how this is enriching our own life. I’m an early riser, so most mornings by the time I take my husband his first cup of coffee, my brain is buzzing with sexy ideas I’ve found and I’m ready to plot new scenes and stories (or activities :)). We’re sure finding more ideas than we’ll be able to try out in one lifetime – but we’ll bring you the best of them, and sometimes also blog about them.

One of our faves is the Good Vibrations online magazine, The Buzz, at http://goodvibesblog.com. This morning, they had some great tips for staying present during sex – you know, not leaving our bodies or making the holiday to-do list or fostering anxious thoughts that take us away from the pleasure of the moment.

It’s a fabulous article packed with good advice. My personal favorite (and one I practice regularly) is #3: “Third, before sex, spend 30 minutes to an hour doing whatever makes you feel hot.” This can be a marvelous prelude to set the mood and ramp up the eroticism. It can be whatever works for you – perhaps a soothing bubble bath, your favorite adult videos, a massage with scented oils, or reading a spicy erotic scene, alone or together.

Here’s the link – enjoy!

http://goodvibesblog.com/staying-present-during-sex/

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Filed Under: Stay Sexy ~ Stay Healthy Tagged With: erotic romance, erotica, hot sex after fifty

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