Adriana Kraft

When it's time to heat things up...

Boomers

Time for a confession #MFRWAuthor #BabyBoomers

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It’s confession time.

An author friend posted the question why do you write? on one of our author loops. As I pondered how to answer, I realized it’s so embedded in our own personal story that I couldn’t give a short answer.

Our readers know we are baby boomers. If they’re anywhere close to our age, they also know that midlife can bring a host of challenges in the bedroom. For us, that was complicated by health issues: A heart attack (in his forties!) for him, abdominal repair issues for me. Add onto that the fact I have three stepchildren. From the moment we married until our own son turned 20, I always had at least one teenager in the house. Time for sex? Interest in it? Not so much, for longer than I’d like to confess.

But neither of us was willing to give up. Our parents, it turns out, lived very long lives. Who, at midlife, wants to look forward to three or four more decades with no sex? We started looking for resources and found some great ones. We started watching videos – yes, Those Kinds of videos, in the bedroom, as a prelude to our own activities.

After a while we started saying things like “I’d like that story better if…” and “what would really turn me on is if she…”  As you might guess, we started setting down stories that better met our needs. Gradually we didn’t use the videos so much – we read out loud from our own material.

So why do we write? We want to save the world from boring sex.

Feel free to take a peek at our Swinging Lifestyle stories and our Polyamory stories and let us know if we’re succeeding!

The first 2000 steps #MFRWAuthor #Health #Boomers #Motivation

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“Watch that first step, it’s a doozy!” Sometimes just taking that first step towards a more healthy lifestyle is a giant undertaking. But here’s the thing – those steps have to happen over and over, just like Groundhog Day, which popularized but probably did not originate the “doozy” phrase.

Now that I’ve discovered 8000 steps a day is the threshold that makes a discernible difference in my energy level and mental alertness, the challenge is how to fit them in.

I’m an early riser, usually up without an alarm between five and six a.m. I wake with a mental list of the tasks I hope to polish off in the two hours before my husband gets up. I usually wake feeling energetic and motivated, not wanting the rest of my day to get cluttered up with what I leave undone in the early morning.

BUT I’m starting to learn that if I don’t take advantage of the cool morning hours to make a significant dent in my daily 8000 steps, I don’t reach that goal. Polishing off 2000 steps before breakfast seems to be the minimum required to get to 8000 by the end of the day.

Now my marching orders become a little more daunting: I have to fight my urge to “get things done” and decide that staying fit, healthy, energetic and alert outranks whatever I might accomplish short term. It matters more. I have to give up maybe twenty minutes worth of tasks (and feelings of accomplishment) and convince myself that the mood elevation, long term benefits, and yes, feeling of accomplishment from reaching my steps goal is worth it. Every morning. Over and over.

How to motivate myself to keep doing it? I’ve got lots of tactics and will share more about them down the road. Right now, a picture might be worth a thousand words (and it sure helps with 2000 steps!)

We spend much of the winter in southern Arizona. Almost every morning, the Arizona sky puts a smile on my face as I’m walking. That’s a draw to at least set foot out the door – and as I’m sure you know, taking that first step is all important, whether or not it’s a doozy.

So far, so good!

Every step counts… #health #boomers #MFRWAuthor

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Are you interested in your health? How much time do you spend thinking about it on a daily basis?

More important, how much time do you invest in doing something about it on a daily basis?

When I was in my twenties, I probably didn’t spend a lot of time thinking about it, though through a quirk of fate (friends in college in the 60s) I’d already developed a daily exercise program.

We got excited about the RCAF routine and got together in the dorm halls (not co-ed, in those days 😊) most evenings to run through the 10 minute routine. It stuck with me. I liked what it did for my body – probably more motivated by what I wanted to look like than health concerns in those days!

But as I’ve grown older (Baby Boomer, here), my health concerns and activities have increased. Though each of my parents lived a very long time (95 and 101), both developed forms of dementia late in life: My mother was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and needed care for her symptoms for her last five years, during most of which time she didn’t know who I was (or her husband, either). My dad’s was more classic age-related dementia, and he continued to know me (the “blue-eyed” daughter), remembered raunchy jokes from his youth, and kept his assisted living staff entertained and engaged by laughing with them often. If I have a choice, I’d prefer his trajectory.

Fast forward to today: Each time a new link surfaces with information about preventing Alzheimer’s and dementia, I’m all over it in a flash. Whatever my genes have in store for me down the road, it’s clear a great deal is within my control. At the very least, if this is my future, I can delay onset and significantly decrease symptoms through how I live on a daily basis. And even if my genes aren’t poised to take me there, I’ll experience vastly greater quality of life through my remaining years.

So I’m going to take up blogging about it again. If you’re interested in what I’ve had to say about it in the past, you can explore the Stay Sexy column we published in 2013 and 2014.

My new series of posts will have the somewhat broader focus of overall health, though of course you can count on us to never ignore sex 😊. I’ll share tips, new research, what has worked for both halves of Adriana Kraft, what hasn’t, and opportunities for guests who have a similar focus. Drop us a line (use the contact button in the r.h. sidebar) and tell us what you’d like to blog about as our guest.

For today, I’m sticking to counting steps. FitBit has sold millions of step counters with its campaign about the benefits of walking 10,000 steps a day. Is the hype true? The answer, in general, is yes. A 2017 HuffPo article supports the benefits, with some caveats that are worth noting: slow steps don’t have the same benefit as a faster pace, and there’s no magic threshold at 10,000. More is simply better.

After researching step-counters, I invested in a FitBit Charge 2 (Mr. Kraft gave it to me last Christmas, actually). I love it. I always know where I am relative to my goals. What I especially appreciate is being reminded to move – at least 250 steps – every hour. I spend much of my day sitting at the computer (imagine that!). Not moving, it turns out, can be lethal.

What’s more, I’ve discovered that the bottom threshold, for me, happens at about 8,000 steps. If I get less than that in a day, I feel more sluggish, less energized, and less alert the next day (and Mr. Kraft is far more likely to beat me at WordStreak). I’m on much more of an even keel if I’ve reached at least that much, though my goal continues to be more. Every step counts.

What works for you? We’d love to hear from you, in comments below or via our email contact on the sidebar.

Just Dreamin’ #MysexySaturday #MFRWauthor

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rose colored dreamsRun for the Roses – A whirlwind weekend of high-end horse racing and sexy swing parties. Anyone can dream on Derby Day!

Sometimes “good ole’ fashioned sexy” isn’t about hot and heavy, it’s about keeping the dreams and adventures alive with that special someone.

EXCERPT

“What do you dream about at this point in our lives?” Jen asked. “It’s not like we haven’t fulfilled many of our dreams already. After all, I did entice you into discovering me.”

Laughing, Brett nodded in agreement. “That you did. Lucky me.”

“Lucky me.”

“So what do you dream about? What do you want us to dream about?”

“It’s funny.” Jen paused. “When I look at the broad picture—what you and I have, what we do, how we’re living our lives—there’s really nothing I’d add. I love our life. I’m not sure when I was in my twenties I ever even dreamed life could be this good—especially that it would be so full and satisfying in our mid fifties. I don’t know, maybe I thought we’d shrivel up or something. I know I didn’t think about having so much sex in our lives, or sharing it with other partners. I think I believed sex would stop by the time we were forty, if not sooner.”

“Thank God that expectation failed.”

“Yes, but it took both of us to move beyond the scripts we were given as kids. And we’ve done great—but I don’t want to stop dreaming.” She shuddered. “I think if we stop dreaming, it may be over. The inevitable will happen someday, but that day may be further off if we continue chasing dreams, old ones and new ones.”

“That’ll work for me, if it works for you.”

BLURB

Brett and Jen join their horse-trainer friends at the Kentucky Derby for a whirlwind weekend of races and sexy swing parties. Perhaps a Derby win is out of reach – but what are the dreams that matter for them? It doesn’t cost anything to keep on dreaming.

BUY LINK

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MY SEXY SATURDAY

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Be sure to click on the other participants to travel to this Saturday’s sexy excerpts!

 

Brain Fear? What to eat! #MFRWAuthor

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Brain Fear?

Yup, big time. With Alzheimer’s and dementia only one generation away up my family tree, I chase everything that comes across my newsfeeds about caring for my brain.

Here’s the latest, from AARP – six foods that support brain health, and my status:

Legumes, for B-complex vitamins, help protect against brain shrinkage – So-so .We definitely need to add in more, though the humus we enjoy daily at least contributes some

Citrus, for vitamin C antioxidents – Check! An orange a day.

Almonds, for vitamin E, healthy blood vessels – Check! This is my go-to snack. I nearly always have some handy – my only concern is eating too many!

Fish, for Omega 3s – Um, not often enough. Will work on this.

Spinach – flavenoids that slow amyloid plaque build-up — Ooops. I’ve been focusing on romaine for our salads, partly because it keeps so well. It turns up on many other lists of foods that help the brain, but doesn’t necessarily affect amyloid plaque. Will have to add spinach back in. Though in my defense I’ll add that when we eat out, a spinach salad is often my choice – especially the Panera Spinach Power salad.

coffeeCoffee, three cups daily have slowed cognitive decline compared to impaired adults not drinking significant coffee. – Check, and hooray! For decades health professionals have succeeded in making me feel somewhat guilty for my coffee addiction, so I’m excited to be justified. Plus, I know single cases neither prove or disprove aggregate research, but my father was a daily coffee drinker and my mother wasn’t, and her decline greatly exceeded his in onset and severity. I’ll drink to the difference!

My score? Excellent on three out of six, marginal on two, and pretty much zero on the spinach front. Got my marching orders – how about you?

Stay Sexy ~ We’re Not Making This Stuff Up!

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…well, of course, in our erotic romance fiction, we make up lots of stuff. 🙂

But today I’m talking about those phrases you may have seen out there like sixty is the new forty, reverse the effects of aging, stay forever young, and the like. Pie in the sky? Nope, it’s true!

Of course we’re not going to actually stay young forever – but increasingly, there’s compelling evidence that certain healthy lifestyle habits do, in fact, reverse some of the effects of aging.

Earlier this week, NPR covered the most recent entry into this database. In a five year study authored by Dean Ornish, of heart-health fame, participants who engaged in a select group of healthy practices lengthened the telomeres on the ends of their chromosomes significantly, while the telomeres of the control group actually shortened.

It would take a lot of brain science to delve into a thorough understanding of telomeres and how they function, but here’s a short version: telomeres protect the dna within the chromosomes, and shorter telomeres are associated with shorter life span and an increase in many chronic diseases.

Prior to the present study, it’s not been known whether healthy living creates longer telomeres (and decreased susceptibility to disease), or whether people with longer telomeres simply have a healthier lifestyle, perhaps because they enjoy greater health. This exploratory study demonstrates in a small sample that the lifestyle differences can be causal.

So yes, sixty can be the new forty – or at least, in our sixties, we can still reverse some of the effects of aging through our habits. What habits? Ornish elaborated as follows:

A whole foods, low-fat, plant-based diet that’s also low in refined carbohydrate.

Walking for a half an hour a day.

Doing various stress management techniques, including yoga and meditation, for an hour a day.

Spending more time with their loved ones, including friends and family.

Apropos of all of the above, my husband and I went dancing last night. It’s part of what we love about being so close to Las Vegas, where great dance bands are easy to come by. We were fascinated by a highly energetic and broadly smiling elderly couple who hardly sat out a dance – fast or slow, western, rock and roll or hip-hop. I would have guessed their age to be early seventies, at most. A friend set us straight: both member of this couple are ninety years old. Not only that – where did they meet, after they’d each lost their spouse? They met at the gym, where they both still work out regularly.

That’s what I want to be when the time comes – ninety, vigorous, and happily dancing my feet off!