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Stay Sexy!

Announcing our launch of a new weekly column, Stay Sexy, where we’ll bring you everything we’ve learned about staying sexy and healthy.

Stay Sexy!

What comes to your mind when you see those words? For me, it’s about staying vibrant, healthy, excited about my partner, open to new experiences, creating variety…and, oh yeah, writing the erotic romance for two, three, or more that hubs and I so enjoy.

It’s hard for me to separate what we do from who we are. We invest a great amount of time and energy in staying active and healthy. Our activities feed our writing, and our writing definitely feeds our activities!

By now you readers know he and I are both baby boomers, that special group of folks born between 1946 and 1964. I’m not saying exactly when, but we’re not the youngest members of the cohort. If you’re younger than us boomers, you may not have run into many of the health challenges we face as we age – but, the more you stay fit and sexy in your youth, the fewer preventable problems you will face. It goes without saying, the better your sex life will be in your fifties and sixties!

For all the above reasons, tomorrow we’re launching a weekly feature on our blog aimed at sharing tips we’ve learned along the way for keeping vibrant, healthy, excited and sexy across the life cycle. We’re calling it Stay Sexy, and we’ll be running it every Sunday.

We’ll continue to scour the web for new information, tips and resources and bring you the best ones that catch our eye. Sometimes we’ll simply share something that happened to us and what we’ve learned from it. And we’ll be reaching into the romance writers’ community, featuring interviews with some of your favorite authors who are also on the road to fitness and health.

It’s all about one of our tag lines, Hot Sex at Any (Legal) Age. We love to write it, we love to read it, and we hope to embody it. We’re excited to be sharing that journey in this new way with you, our readers.

Be sure to check us out tomorrow, February 3, when we get behind the so-called myth: does sex burn a lot of calories or not?

Stay sexy!

 

Anal Sex and Erotica

Okay, I read lots of erotica. Hubs and I write erotica and erotic romance together, and we include anal play in nearly every book we write. Why? Because we love it. Both of us love it.

So I am always distressed when I read scenes by other authors in which anal intercourse is portrayed as painful. There is no need, ever, for the receiving party to experience pain. If pain occurs (and if the participants aren’t seeking pain, which is another story), both participants haven’t paid enough attention to preparation and lubrication. That doesn’t sound very loving or romantic to me.

Most of the scenes I’m referring to follow the painful anal entry with exquisite pleasure, making clear the recipient believes the pain is worth it. I don’t doubt that it’s worth it – I just don’t think pain is a necessary price to pay.

So I was very pleased to see sex educator Charlie Glickman’s Blog today about recent research on anal sex and women. The study he’s discussing found that nearly half of the heterosexual women in their sample who’d experienced anal intercourse in the last year had to discontinue the experience due to pain or discomfort. Glickman goes on to suggest what follow-up questions should be asked to uncover the causes of painful anal intercourse – and, hopefully, to lead to solutions that prevent pain and increase pleasure.

The crucial ingredients to prevent pain? In my experience, attitude, education, lubrication and preparation. Did hubs and I always love it? Speaking for myself here, no. I started out with a negative attitude and didn’t even want to go there. He accepted that. But once we started using videos to spice up our bedroom encounters, I had a chance to watch others receiving anal pleasure, and my attitude shifted. We are always looking for new and exciting ways to keep our sex lives fresh and innovative.

The next step, of course, was education. We had help from two sources here and I highly recommend both of them: the Better Sex Guide to Anal Pleasure (available HERE), and Nina Hartley’s Guide to Anal Pleasure (available HERE).

Lubrication and preparation? Self explanatory, I hope. And both elements can be an extended source of sexual pleasure all by themselves, whether or not they culminate in anal penetration for either partner.

So those are the kinds of anal scenes we write in our novels – tender, caring, sensual, arousing, and explicitly exciting. We hope you enjoy them!

 

There’s an app for that…

Ladies, have you been doing your kegels? Don’t know what that is? Here’s a hint: all the heroines we write who love to clench tight on their hero’s throbbing shaft – it’s that muscle. I promise all our heroines are exercising that muscle regularly, even if we don’t give you details about their exercise routines!

I’m indebted to Charlie Glickman, however, for posting yesterday about a new cell phone app called Kegel Camp to coach you through keeping that muscle strong and limber – and not just for the ladies, either. Longer, stronger orgasms for both sexes, firmer erections for men – what’s not to like?

While you’re at it, if you like erotica and erotic romance, I highly recommend following his blog. There’s a war going on out there, being waged by politicians who want to regulate want we can read and what we can do with our bodies. Charlie’s part of the counter-attack.

But back to exercises that improve sexual enjoyment – here’s another muscle you should be working out regularly: your smile muscle. Did you know that when we engage the muscle that makes our smile reach all the way up to our eyes, our brain releases endorphins? You know, those feel-good brain chemicals that reduce pain, improve mood and give us a pleasure buzz. You can read more about the benefits of smiling at this LINK. Smiling improves longevity, too – and I’m all about living a longer, happier, sexually fulfilled life!

 
© 2018 Adriana Kraft. All Rights Reserved.
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