Swinging – The New Monogamy?
…so someone at work left it on the table in the lunch room, and when I saw the cover I just had to pick it up and read it: A wedding cake with three figurines gracing its top – one bride, and two grooms! It was the June/July issue of Psychotherapy Networker, and the lead article bore the title “The New Monogamy.” I’ve posted the cover – you can catch the article HERE.
Dr. Tammy Nelson, the article’s author, is a licensed psychotherapist and sexologist whose book, Getting the Sex you Want, is highly recommended. In this article she’s exploring the changing definitions of monogamy and infidelity.
Why would that matter to me as an author of erotic romance? Hubby and I are writing characters caught up in the excitement of the world counselors are just coming to recognize as possibly healthy and valid. Dr. Nelson has talked with a number of couples who confirm they get together with other couples for sex dates. The sample she describes is fairly young – couples whose children are now school age, and who want to “rekindle a youthful sense of adventure, sexual excitement, and desirability” while remaining committed to each other in their primary relationship.
Most of the swinging characters we’re writing are somewhat older – at mid life, their nests are emptying – but their purpose is much the same. We, too, have talked with a number of swinging couples, as part of the research for our Swinging Games series. The individuals we’ve spoken with range in age from mid twenties to just over seventy, though most are over forty. They’ve turned to swinging for a variety of reasons. Often, the female partner (like the lead character we invented for our series) has begun to realize she has bisexual interests, and swinging is a safe way to explore those that both partners can enjoy. Others, including many who remain het in orientation, love the thrill of the chase (and being chased).
The persons we’ve talked with report the same phenomena – they are surprised and gratified by how their mutual sexual adventures enliven and recharge all aspects of their relationship. Feeling desirable, knowing your partner is highly desired, watching your partner give and receive exciting sexual experiences, learning more nuances about giving and receiving pleasure, trying out new ideas and techniques, voyeurism (especially at clubs and parties) and the thrill of more than one pair of hands giving pleasure in threesomes or foursomes are just some of the benefits couples tell us about.
Of course we’re not saying couples should or shouldn’t try out swinging to spice up their relationship – but if you find these fantasies enticing, we do recommend reading together some of the available erotic romance novels centered on swinging. Enjoying an erotic romance together is a safe way to experiment and reap at least a few of the benefits reported by couples we’ve spoken with. Here are some links to get you started:
Swing, an anthology edited by Jolie Du Pre
Swing Pointe by Kissa Starling
The Big 4-Oh by Beth Wylde
Swinging Games by Adriana Kraft
An added bonus – the body jewelry vendor listed below just found me on Twitter and gave me her links. She carries some great Swinging jewelry – all of it non-piercing, not just for nipples:
Nipple Rings from NippleCharms.com
Non Piercing Body Jewelry. All the pleasure & no pain.
Use Code Adriana for 10% Discount!
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