• Home
  • Posts Tagged'baby boomers'
  • Page 4

Posts Tagged ‘baby boomers’

Stay Sexy ~ It’s Hard Work

I have a vivid memory of our now-grown son running up to me after his first day of kindergarten, beaming as he shared his important news: “Guess what, Mom? Hard work pays off!”

Here’s a fact baby boomers need to know if you want to stay sexy through these next decades: It takes a lot of work. Couch potatoes aren’t sexy, pretty much, and the time-worn phrase use it or lose it applies, too.

So here we go – what does the hard work consist of, and how do we keep it going?

1)    Move your body

The direct payoff of aerobic exercise and strength training for our sex lives is well documented. We’ll look better, feel better, have more muscle tone, develop more stamina, have better orgasms…the list goes on. If you’re not used to moving, you can start small – and it never pays to set expectations too high, in the beginning. That’s a set-up for failure and disappointment. Find something that works for you (we like Xbox 360 Kinect Dance Central and Extreme Makeover, as well as dance classes), something you like, something you can see yourself maintaining over the long haul, and above all, just start. Any day you do something is a day you’re not a couch potato. At our house? Forty minutes a day, almost every day. Hard work.

2)    Eat well

Yes, to stay sexy, we have to be careful about what we eat. Pay attention to what foods – and how much – you need for a healthy, balanced lifestyle, as opposed to a quick-fix diet. Because my husband is a cardiac patient, we’ve developed a repertoire of delicious, satisfying heart-healthy main meals from which we rarely stray. Whole grains instead of refined flours. Fruits for dessert instead rich baked goods. A baked apple, with cinnamon, four or five pecans, and just the tiniest touch of butter, instead of apple pie, and pour a little 1%, almond, or soy milk over it instead of ice cream or whipped cream. There are lots of resources out on the web (see item #4 below) to help with staying both delicious and healthy in our eating habits. Yes, this takes discipline.

3)    Be sexual every day

With your partner, if you have one, but fly solo if you’re alone. Guys may adapt to this more easily than women, since guys typically have an average of eleven daily erections during waking hours. But many sources recommend an orgasm a day for overall health, and even short of orgasm, keeping that cock or pussy active and well-rehearsed will pay off in greater sexual stamina, increased ability to achieve and maintain arousal, increased comfort with penetration and overall ability to enjoy sex.

Kegels are a good place to start, for both men and women. Exercises that help sustain blood flow for the penis, and toys or play that keeps a vagina stretched and ready to receive are additional options.

And if you have a partner, sharing a little TLC, cock-training, cuddle time, adult film watching or reading out loud from your favorite erotic romance can keep those endorphins flowing and improve your overall connectedness and well being, even if it doesn’t always lead to intercourse or orgasm.

4)    Exercise your Brain

We all know that the brain is the most important sex organ – to establish and maintain arousal as our bodies change, we’ll want to keep our brains as primed as possible! I’m not just talking crossword puzzles and Sudoku here (though I do lots of both). Keep learning things, keep finding new and stimulating topics that spark your interest. One of our favorite coffee hangouts has the motto “life is short – stay awake for it.” Works for us!

5)    Learn how to talk to yourself

It’s all about motivation – we all have those days when we just don’t feel like putting in the hard work. It’s okay to skip a day once in a while, but it’s crucial to pick it back up once we’ve taken that break and keep it going. Learn what your prime motivating factors are and practice using them: what threat or reward is most likely to get you up off that couch and following your regimen again? I have several – here are a couple of them. It took me years to get rid of those love handles that used to hang over the waistband of my jeans, and I don’t want them back. Yes, that’s vanity – whatever works! I also have the specter of dementia and Alzheimer’s disease hanging over me on both sides of my gene pool, and there are certainly mornings where that fear alone drives me to get back at it. When the going gets tough, know what kind of pep talk to give yourself.

6)    Build a support network and use it

Keeping up with all these practices is very hard work. Sometimes self-talk alone still isn’t enough to keep us going or to re-start the engines. We need buddies – cheerleaders, even, who can encourage us, teach us, and light the way. People in your support network don’t have to be privy to your deepest sexual secrets – they might not even know staying sexy is an important goal for you. But maintaining sexual health is so integrally connected to all other aspects of a healthy lifestyle that anything your friends can contribute to keeping you on track will spill over into the rest of it. Cheerleaders, workout buddies, mentors, fellow travelers – we all feel better and live better when we’re connected to others in these ways.

Share what you’re learning

For my husband and me, writing this column and writing our erotic romance novels have both contributed beyond measure to keeping us vibrant, healthy, excited and sexy. For one thing, hardly a day goes by that we’re not talking or learning about something sexual. What works for you? What have we left out that you would never do without? How do you re-boot yourself when it starts to feel too hard? We’d love to include reader comments and ideas in future columns, so drop us a comment or an email.

Have fun – and Stay Sexy!

 

Lucky in Love!

Welcome to the Lucky in Love Blog Hop! Over three hundred authors have signed up to participate, so you know what that means – fabulous grand prizes and over three hundred individual prizes to enter for! Click on the graphic to link to the rest of the Hop authors.

1st Grand Prize:
A $100 Amazon or B&N Gift Card

2nd Grand Prize:
A Swag Pack that contains paperbacks,
ebooks, 50+ bookmarks, cover flats, magnets,
pens, coffee cozies, and more!

 

Lucky in Love:

What does that mean to you? Do you think it happens in real life? What do you look for in a romance plot to feel satisfied that the characters are lucky in love when they finally arrive at their happy ending?

I do believe in being lucky in love in real life – I think it has happened to me. Of course, it’s never all just luck – I’d like a little credit for choosing well when we first got started! But experience in my first marriage (yes, hubs and I were both married and divorced before we met) taught me that just because two persons are compatible at one point in time doesn’t necessarily mean they will continue to grow in directions that bring them together.

So that’s where the luck comes in, at least a little. There’s work involved, too. Hubs and I have been married over thirty years. I never dreamed when our relationship began that we’d develop a career of co-writing erotic stories and seeing them published :). Where did that come from? Was it luck? Was it staying open to each other, finding new and interesting things to do together, keeping focused on learning and growing, keeping our sex life vibrant and active?

Especially that last one, actually! Anyone over fifty (yes, that’s us, and most of the rest of the baby boomer generation, by now!) knows it’s easy for sexual desire, arousal and activity to slow down in mid-life, what with changing hormones and (in our case) a house full of teenagers. You have to work at it to make sure the inertia doesn’t stop your sex life altogether. One of the options we chose was watching soft porn videos (typically created by women, for women) as part of our foreplay. Not only did that work, very nicely – it prompted us to start thinking about what kinds of plots and situations we’d like to see, what sorts of scenes turned us on the most.

It wasn’t long before we started writing them down – for ourselves, in the beginning, but then we started thinking: if we like these plots and scenes, perhaps we’re not the only ones. We started submitting them, and are thrilled (and yes, probably lucky) to now have twenty-nine erotic romance novels and novellas published, and two more under contract for release later this spring.

So yes, this St. Patrick’s Day weekend, I’m feeling very lucky in love, and happy to be sharing the wealth!

Here’s a peek at one of our baby boomer heroines who also turned out to be very lucky. We created a fictional Center for Sexuality and Sex Practices, based very loosely on some of the resources we turned to in our forties. We’ve turned several characters loose in the setting to see what they’d come up with. Here’s the Blurb and an Excerpt for Ripening Passion:

BLURB

Ripening PassionClaire Johnson’s dedication to sex—the cornerstone of her career—led her to found the Center for Sexuality and Sex Practices. Now in her fifties, she knows the Center must keep pace with the rapidly growing Baby Boomer market, so she agrees to go back on camera for a series on sex and aging. But work with her nemesis?

Former English Professor Max Wilson has championed the cause of the Center ever since his deceased wife sought the Center’s help to rekindle the nearly extinguished sexual flames of their relationship. He loves working on camera and welcomes the challenge to perform with the svelte but feisty temptress.

Sparks fly immediately on and off camera. Can either Claire or Max transform those sparks into a fire of sexual desire for their viewers? And if they succeed, what will happen when the movie’s over?

EXCERPT

“Don’t stare, but take a peek at the young couple at about two-o’clock braced against the tree making out. They do seem to enjoy kissing.”

Max looked, then nibbled Claire’s ear. “Who’s staring? You do have radar for lovers.”

“Cripes, she’s riding his knee. Oh my, a girl after my own heart. Max, she’s hanging onto his shoulder for dear life, but she’s not surrendering her perch on his thigh for anything.

“He’s looking around. Oops, I think he caught me watching. Ah.” Claire sighed. “She stopped, now they’re kissing wildly again.” Claire squeezed his fingers on her breast. “That girl had a damn good ride. Oh, to be young lovers again.”

“Being old lovers isn’t bad.” Max dipped his fingers under the fabric covering her breast.

“If that couple were to look across the way at us, they’d never guess I’m sitting here with my man caressing my nipple. And,” she turned and kissed his cheek, “that I’m wet as hell.”

“You could probably hump my knee and they wouldn’t even notice because they don’t expect it. That’s one advantage with age. People don’t expect us to be horny, or do outrageous things.”

“So true. And there’s something quite gratifying about defying their limited expectations. Perhaps we should go over and share our wisdom with the youngsters.”

Max shook his head. “I doubt they’d listen.

Lucky in Love Giveaway

To enter for a free download of Ripening Passion plus a $10 ARE gift certificate, subscribe to my newsletter (upper left-hand sidebar) and leave a comment below: What do you think about being sexy over fifty?

 

Stay Sexy: The sexiest thing you can ever do…

…is get your heart rate up there!

Okay, so you already know being sexy probably has to involve our hearts – we want to be sexy with the person we give our heart to, right? And after all, this week is Valentine’s Day, so talking about our hearts is a natural.

But here’s the thing: elevating our heart rate into that aerobic target zone, even a little bit, does something magical for both our bodies and our brains. Turns out it helps us be both more desirable and more interested in being sexy!

Body-wise, it helps us burn fat (and, if you saw our Stay Sexy column last week, you know having sex burns as many calories as lots of other forms of exercise). Plus, there’s more, according to the Mayo Clinic. It makes our metabolism more efficient. It’ll improve our stamina, in case we’re aiming for a marathon session. It reduces pain – maybe that’s why my migraine episodes decreased as my workouts increased. I’ll take it! It revs up our immune system, reducing our likelihood of getting sick. And, naturally, it’s good for our hearts. It strengthens the heart muscles and helps clear out our arteries by boosting our HDL cholesterol (the good kind).

Did that list sound sexy? Not so much, by itself – but even just sticking with what it does for the body, I’ll look better, feel better and live longer, and that’s sexy.

The brain magic is even more impressive – and less well known. According to Dr. John Ratey, in Spark, spending time in our target heart rate zone decreases depression, reduces anxiety, relieves stress, decreases dementia in later life, and even increases our brain capacity. Personally, I think that’s very sexy – I’ll be happier, more relaxed, smarter, and possibly even more inventive!

I hope this list of benefits has piqued your curiosity – I’d love to answer questions about how all this works (see, I told you it makes us smarter 🙂 ). Stay tuned – in future Stay Sexy columns, we’ll be sharing more personally about the impact this information has had for both my husband and myself.

In the meantime – Happy Valentine’s Day, have fun, and stay sexy!

 
© 2017 Adriana Kraft. All Rights Reserved.