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Posts Tagged ‘baby boomers’

Stay Sexy ~ Feed your Fantasies!

Lacy-lips-smallDo you ever fantasize about having sex with multiple partners? Two hot guys, maybe, or maybe a sexy guy and a hot woman? Or swapping with another couple and enjoying a foursome? If so, read on!

 

 

The-Ultimate-Guide-to-Sex-Over-Fifty-200x300I’m devouring Joan Price’s latest book, The Ultimate Guide to Sex Over Fifty, and hope to post a review in another week or two. Meantime I ran across the following marvelous quote from writer/activist Carol Queen in its pages:

“Sex with many people is actually the most functional form of sex education for many in our culture. In a society that doesn’t value or take seriously the responsibility to teach about pleasure, many of us still derive our most profound understandings about our own sexuality on the hoof, in the street, on the prowl.”

The first thing that struck me as I read those words was that it’s what so many swingers tell us about the impact of swinging on their sex lives with each other. You might think that people who turn to swinging are sexually savvy and experienced already, and many are, but even so, in addition to the thrill of multiple partners, many are surprised that they discover nuances about their own sexuality and each other’s they weren’t aware of. Even more, they learn new activities, toys, and positions they haven’t thought to try.

We’ve spoken with swingers ranging from their thirties to their eighties. Their reasons for getting involved with the lifestyle vary, but almost universally, they report reaping so much more benefit than they ever anticipated, and they’re grateful (especially as they age) for the extra boost to their libidos and their enjoyment.

We began writing our Swinging Games series for similar reasons. In it, we follow a mid-life empty-nest baby-boomer couple who reach the decision to check out the swing lifestyle because the wife thinks she might be bisexual, but doesn’t want to leave her husband out of her sexual exploration. Thirteen installments later, they are still going strong, and you can check out the series at this LINK to see if it can add to your fantasies.

Meanwhile Stay Sexy, and have fun!

 

Stay Sexy ~ Do Something Different

Want to stay vibrant, healthy, exciting and sexy across the life cycle?

Here’s what it takes:

Think differently.

Do something different.

Keep on doing it.

Not new, not earth shaking, not something I haven’t said in my own way, but I ran across it yesterday in a place I wouldn’t have looked for it.

I follow (and hardly ever miss reading) Bob Mayer’s blog – initially because I heard him speak with Jennifer Crusie and I read the books they wrote together, then because he was a pioneer in indie publishing, and because I started reading and love his solo fiction. Here’s a shout-out to Duty, Honor, Country and The Jefferson Allegiance. Great reads.

He’s a West Point graduate with a Special Forces career, and he draws on that experience to write his fiction and run his life. Truly. He’s been a traditionally published best-selling author, but he saw the wave of change coming and established an indie publishing house for his back list, his new releases, and a few additional brave authors. Lots of traditional authors got swamped by the wave – he’s still riding it, and thriving.

So when he says something, I pay attention.

The opening line to his blog yesterday was “If I’m not where I want to be, then I must change.” Exactly. How do we do that? We all have the same basic material to work with – think differently, do something different, keep on doing it. Not new. What was new (to me) was the meta-analysis: in order to make a change, it helps if we know which of these three steps is most difficult for us. Then we can focus our energy on figuring out why that step is our barrier, and doing something about that.

For me, #3 is the bugaboo: sustaining the change. My something different is my twelve minute morning workout. That means I have to do the same “different” thing every morning, and some mornings I just don’t feel like it.

I’ve learned I need a huge laundry list of reasons that can get me up off the couch and moving, a combination of sticks and carrots. Some mornings, frankly, it’s vanity. I really like looking trim and fit. Sometimes it’s my osteopenia – the fear of ending up someday in a nursing home with a broken hip. Often it’s the specter of Alzheimer’s – my gene pool is just loaded with good reasons to sustain the change. Right now I’m rehabbing  an injured knee, and if nothing else gets me going, the knowledge that I’ll have less knee pain later in the day works just fine. Sometimes, even, it’s knowing that I’ll be writing this Stay Sexy blog post every week: accountability. And on a really good morning, it’s just knowing how very good I feel all day when I’ve started my day with the core routine.

I’ll close with his closing words. I highly recommend reading his entire post.

“Sustained action equals change.  Sustained action is training.  Sustained action brings about new, healthy and productive habits.”

Have fun, and Stay Sexy.

 

Stay Sexy ~ What’s YOUR word?

This morning I’ve been re-reading blogs on a list I keep for inspiration for this weekly column on staying vibrant, healthy, exciting and sexy across the life style. I needed that, because with the holidays and a horrific case of bronchitis hubs came down with Christmas day, my usually faithful routine flew out the window. I wasn’t finding the motivation inside myself to conquer it, so I turned to my virtual support network.

Here’s the article I re-read, by Molly Alexander Darden:

How One Word Drove Me to Cross the Bridge From Old Age to Youthful Vitality

And here’s my favorite quote:

I committed to do whatever it took to feel vital again.”

What she stumbled upon was the one activity that could entice her to put in the necessary hard work – the sport she used to do that gave her the feeling she remembered and wanted back. For her, it was water skiing.

Did I mention she’s at least seventy? It’s clear she has resources – once she identified what activity would inspire her to shed those pounds and get in shape, she was able to hire a specialized coach to see her through the process. But that’s not what I took from her blog, and it’s not what you need, either.

What she focused on was the remembered feeling of excitement, achievement, and vitality. Those feelings are stored in our very bones and muscles, and those memory traces can propel us towards our goal.

So here’s another quote – and my New Years wish for you, as you enter 2014:

“I love being able to tell people what I’m doing now, instead of what I used to do.”

And yes, I did my workout between reading the article and writing this column. Go, me!

Have fun, and Stay Sexy!

 
© 2018 Adriana Kraft. All Rights Reserved.
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