We welcome author George Pappas on his blog tour for his new release, Monogamy Sucks. My husband and I write erotic romance about swinging from a couple’s point of view. George writes erotica about swinging from a male’s point of view. Today the two worlds meet!
OF UNICORNS AND CENTAURS: The Hidden Role of Single Men in the Swinging Lifestyle
Now, it is single men or centaurs as they are called, that are considered truly mythical or non-existent in the swinging lifestyle.
Contrary to popular belief, single men are not pariahs among swingers. One would never know that from popular movies, TV shows and magazine depictions of swinging as the sole domain of couples swapping partners or single women participating in threesomes with couples.
It is true that a lot swing clubs do bar single men from admission, but not all of them. I know this from personal experience.
My recently published novel Monogamy Sucks depicts the experiences of a single man in the swing world. My novel’s protagonist Jake Dalmas swings solo during almost his entire journey in a quest to expand his sex life.
Jake is a centaur in the full definition of the word, and he doesn’t want to be part of couple. It was my intention to feature another side of swinging rarely if ever discussed in books, movies or TV. Not everyone wants to be part of what I call “Couples Nation” — and honestly like my character — they don’t want the headaches and stress that at times accompanies romantic relationships.
Even a new Pew Survey says that 4 in 10 Americans think that the bedrock of all traditions, marriage, is becoming obsolete. Our society is changing. One could take from this that people are also thinking different about other sacred cows such as monogamy. Studies suggest that around 30–40 percent of dating relationships and 18–20 percent of marriages are marked by at least one incident of sexual infidelity, according to Close encounters: Communication in Relationships. Some researchers say there’s a 50–50 chance today that one partner will have an affair during a marriage. It is estimated that roughly 30 to 60 percent of all married individuals (in the United States) will engage in infidelity at some point during their marriage as referenced on the Truth About Deception Web site. It is food for thought.
I will go out on a limb and say that I believe a lot more couples than one might think desire to swing with single men. Some women (both in and out of the lifestyle) do actually fantasize about being with more than one man or with many men, but without strings or complications that could ruin their marriages or relationships. Most don’t act on these urges, but some do. This need for couples to bring single men into their sex lives may not be as popular as the more common fantasy (female, female and male) threesome, but centaurs are desired more than everyone lets on. Sexual boredom is a factor here no doubt.
Think of these single men as “stunt cocks” brought into a relationship to provide more or different kinds of pleasure for straight (or even bi-couples.)
In one key chapter in my novel (excerpted below), my character Jake is contacted by a young married couple that are horny on a Sunday morning. He ends up having sex with the wife, a hot blonde named Tonya, and engaging in his first double penetration experience. After their passions were spent, Jake went back to his single life and they returned to their marriage. There are other instances in my book where my character is invited into sexual encounters with other straight couples.
So what’s a guy to do who wants to participate in swinging, but doesn’t have or want a wife or girlfriend?
You can start by going online and searching for swing clubs in your area that admit single men. There are many cool Web sites that cater to those interested in the swinger lifestyle.
Place an ad in a local swinger’s magazine looking to meet couples. One good one to consider is the West Coast Sex Directory, but if you’re not on the West Coast you can find many others. Take it from me: there are a lot couples looking to swing with men. You just need to know how to find them.
However, there are a couple of etiquette rules single male swingers should consider when swinging with couples.
· Stay cool and never be pushy. You are a potential fantasy for a couple. Be a nice guy at all times. Don’t ruin a potentially enjoyable time by being an asshole.
· Don’t lose your head. You are being invited into a couple’s private sexual lives — that’s all. The encounter is strictly sexual. Don’t get confused. You will go home alone after the sex, leaving the couple to their relationship or married lives. This is sacrosanct. You are out to have a good time, not ruin anyone’s life.
For couples, inviting a single man into your bedroom is a wonderful opportunity to spice up your sex lives and explore fantasies women and men don’t always like to talk about, but no doubt want to explore. Set some ground rules and boundaries on what activities can be included in your swinging adventure. Everyone involved must keep their perspective about the outcome and meaning of the sexual fun. Sex stirs up all sorts of emotions, but being honest about the erotic nature of a sexy rendezvous will save everyone a lot of heartache. If everyone remains cool and mature, the swinging lifestyle offers a great opportunity for wonderful, adventurous sex for both single men and couples.
Twitter: @gpwriter @jakedalmas
Excerpt from Chapter 17 of Monogamy Sucks:
Don and Tonya live in a small apartment complex located off Pacific Coast Highway. It is an old surburban tract located in the middle an industrial area of refineries and old oil fields. As I walked toward their place I could hear an oil derrick pumping away in a nearby field.
A stocky guy with a Marine style crew cut greeted me at the door of their apartment. He said he was Don and shook my hand vigorously. He was wearing boxer shorts and a T-shirt.
“Come on in the bedroom. Tonya’s in the bathroom cleaning up. Would like you something to drink?”
I told him no thanks and walked into their bedroom. Apparently, they had been at it all morning. The covers of their king sized bed were pulled back and the sheets were wrinkled and torn off the mattress.
On a mantel, next to the bed were their wedding pictures. It was an uncomfortable reminder that soon I could be fucking another man’s wife in their wedding bed. It felt odd, but also very alluring.
I started removing my clothes and heard Tonya finishing up in the bathroom. A few moments later, Tonya stepped into the bedroom and shyly said hello. She is a knockout, a beautiful twenty something blonde woman with a ponytail. She was naked except for a towel, but I could see she has an incredible body – big tits, long legs, sexy ass. For a second, I thought I had walked into the wrong apartment. There was nothing skanky about Tonya. She was a fantasy fuck girl from head to toe. She is my porn fantasy in the flesh. I could feel my lust returning with a vengeance.
“Where’s Don?” she asked.
“In the kitchen,” I told her trying to keep my composure.
She smiled and left the room. A few minutes later, she returned with Don. They were both smiling at me. I had undressed down to my boxers.
“Well, why don’t we get down to it?” said Don, who quickly took off his shorts and moved on to the middle of the bed.
“Come over and suck me some more baby,” he beckoned to his wife.
Tonya removed her towel and obliged her husband’s request. They were oblivious to me except for Tonya sticking her ass and shaved pussy way up in the air, which I took as an invitation to join right in.
“Come on get in here,” Don said to me. “Look at that hot pussy.”
So I walked over to where Tonya was and started licking her pussy and fingering her. She tasted sweet like strawberries and I instantly got hard. She has a great ass or what I liked to call a heart shaped ass. I wanted to fuck her so bad, maybe too much. I got too anxious and tried to fuck her wet pussy without a rubber.
She pulled away for a second and Don said, “Hey man, you got to put on a rubber.”
I was embarrassed and realized I had almost broken a swinger’s etiquette rule to always have safe sex, unless asked otherwise. I did what I told my friend Ned never to do. I tried to enter barebacked without permission.
They didn’t seem too mad, though, and Tonya even smiled at me again and I was relieved I hadn’t blown my fantasy opportunity.
However, by the time I got a rubber out of my pants, which I thrown on the floor at the other side of the room, and strapped it on, I wasn’t completely hard anymore. I tried unsuccessfully to fuck her several times, but it was no use. I was flogging a dead dick again. She didn’t seem to notice and continued to suck on Don. I finger fucked her and licked on her clit. I don’t know what came over me, but I then stuck my index finger into her asshole. She didn’t react negatively as I expected, but instead groaned with pleasure.
Don and I then switched positions as he got up from the bed and began fucking his wife from behind. I lay back on the bed and Tonya, who was moaning with pleasure, looked up at me and took my flaccid cock in her mouth. She is a cocksucking pro. There is no doubt about it. I believe her lips should have been licensed. The moment she took me in her mouth, I felt my lusty desire return.
When I was hard enough, she deep throated me and I gasped with pleasure. It was an incredible feeling to have this blonde vision of beauty taking me like a porn star would. But I was prepared this time. I had another rubber in my right hand, the package open and ready for quick application.