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Stay Sexy ~ Ageless Erotica Review

If you’re under thirty or even in your forties, you might never pick up this book, but you should. Ageless Erotica, edited by Joan Price, is a steamy collection of erotica by and about men and women over fifty. The book flies in the face of the notion that our sex lives have to diminish as we age, or that if we stay sexually active, we shouldn’t talk or write about it. The stories offer hope for those under fifty and will bring smiles of recognition, laughter, arousal, and delight to readers old enough to identify.

I was impressed by the wide range of stories, characters, plots, themes and creative sex acts across the collection. There’s solo sex, same and opposite gender sex, fantasy sex, married sex, pick-up sex, sex with a paid professional, a touch of kink – a little something for everyone, demonstrating that just as sex doesn’t have to stop as we age, neither does creativity and imagination. We’re told the authors range in age from fifty to eighty, and I take encouragement from that!

I did have some favorites. In “Invitation to Lunch,” Donna George Storey offers a touching erotic lunch break with a married couple, spiced with a dash of fantasy exhibitionism. “Sex with him is like truly fine old wine, each year adding more complexity and mystery.”

The theme of carrying a secret pleasure turned up in both “Other People’s Stuff,” by Susan St. Aubin, and ”Jaguar Dreams,” by Evvy Lynn. If you’ve ever wondered why old people are smiling to themselves, “Jaguar Dreams” will forever change your answer.

I also loved the open, tender married relationship in D.L. King’s “Mr. Smith, Ms. Jones will see you now.” Mr. Smith’s wife is never on the page, but always in his thoughts through each iteration of kink delivered by Ms. Jones, whose first appointment was gifted to him by the wife unable to enjoy the kink she knows he needs. This story captures so beautifully the rewards an open relationship can deliver to the primary couple, under the best of circumstances.

Joan Price is a highschool-English-teacher-turned-exercise professional after an automobile accident nearly claimed her life in 1979. She married the love of her life in her late fifties, lost him to cancer a mere seven years later, and turned her energies to celebrating the excitement, sizzle and sexuality she and others have discovered in later life. You can find all her books at her Amazon PAGE, and she blogs about sex and aging at Better Than I Ever Expected.

If you’re over fifty, she’s seeking input for her next book, The Ultimate Guide to Sex After Fifty, at this LINK

Stay sexy, and have fun!

 

 

Stay Sexy ~ It Should be Fun

Having just danced the night away instead of staying home and writing this blog last night, I thought I’d follow up on last week’s Stay Sexy post, It’s Hard Work.

It is hard work. And some of that hard work isn’t any fun. I know, the hard work pays off in rewards we will get later on, but sometimes it’s just hard to stay motivated for long term benefits.

So whenever possible, find something you like to do for your aerobic workouts. That’ll be different for each of us. I love bicycle riding outdoors – I have a friend who’d much rather work out on her dependable elliptical, where she doesn’t have to deal with other riders or traffic, and she can stay buried in her favorite novel while she’s working out. No judgment implied. You have to identify what works for you.

That said, here are a few ideas that might just be enough fun to draw us off that couch and into aerobic activity.

Walk

Take a walk or a hike. Walk for several blocks in your neighborhood. Walk with a buddy or best friend, and enjoy the conversation. Walk a nature trail. Here is something I would have missed if I’d stayed indoors – just off the trail, and we had our new binoculars with us, with a built in camera.

Get in the water

Swimming is excellent aerobic exercise. Just going for a swim isn’t going to pull me off the couch, but it might work for you, if you love it. What does get me in the water is group water aerobics. The class is fun, the workout is smooth and gentle but no less effective, and in the water I can start to feel as graceful as I once felt taking ballet as a little girl. Not gonna do those arabesques on land any more, probably, but in the water? Perfect!

Dance

Hubs and I were out on the dance floor off and on for four hours last night, to music that ranged from the sixties to yesterday, rock, country, disco, pop, hip hop… I don’t think they left anything out.

Listen to the music

This option has been around for decades – whatever aerobic activity you’re engaged in, pop your favorite music in your ears and rock on. Time can fly by if you’re on that elliptical or treadmill. If you’re out-of-doors, just be careful if you’re out of doors and need to be able to hear traffic to stay safe.

Jog or Run

I almost didn’t add this because my days of high-impact aerobics are over, but if that’s not something that compromises your joint health, absolutely. Go for it! Explore the walking/running trails in your community, hit the track at a local school, and let the wind fly by your ears.

Take it Outside

Almost any aerobic exercise can be done outside, where you can listen to the birds, watch a sunrise or sunset, watch the waves crash on the beach, hear the wind in the trees, or whatever other aspect of our incredible natural world suits your fancy.

Those are just a few – I’d love to hear some of your favorites.

Have fun, and Stay Sexy!

 

 

Stay Sexy ~ It’s Hard Work

I have a vivid memory of our now-grown son running up to me after his first day of kindergarten, beaming as he shared his important news: “Guess what, Mom? Hard work pays off!”

Here’s a fact baby boomers need to know if you want to stay sexy through these next decades: It takes a lot of work. Couch potatoes aren’t sexy, pretty much, and the time-worn phrase use it or lose it applies, too.

So here we go – what does the hard work consist of, and how do we keep it going?

1)    Move your body

The direct payoff of aerobic exercise and strength training for our sex lives is well documented. We’ll look better, feel better, have more muscle tone, develop more stamina, have better orgasms…the list goes on. If you’re not used to moving, you can start small – and it never pays to set expectations too high, in the beginning. That’s a set-up for failure and disappointment. Find something that works for you (we like Xbox 360 Kinect Dance Central and Extreme Makeover, as well as dance classes), something you like, something you can see yourself maintaining over the long haul, and above all, just start. Any day you do something is a day you’re not a couch potato. At our house? Forty minutes a day, almost every day. Hard work.

2)    Eat well

Yes, to stay sexy, we have to be careful about what we eat. Pay attention to what foods – and how much – you need for a healthy, balanced lifestyle, as opposed to a quick-fix diet. Because my husband is a cardiac patient, we’ve developed a repertoire of delicious, satisfying heart-healthy main meals from which we rarely stray. Whole grains instead of refined flours. Fruits for dessert instead rich baked goods. A baked apple, with cinnamon, four or five pecans, and just the tiniest touch of butter, instead of apple pie, and pour a little 1%, almond, or soy milk over it instead of ice cream or whipped cream. There are lots of resources out on the web (see item #4 below) to help with staying both delicious and healthy in our eating habits. Yes, this takes discipline.

3)    Be sexual every day

With your partner, if you have one, but fly solo if you’re alone. Guys may adapt to this more easily than women, since guys typically have an average of eleven daily erections during waking hours. But many sources recommend an orgasm a day for overall health, and even short of orgasm, keeping that cock or pussy active and well-rehearsed will pay off in greater sexual stamina, increased ability to achieve and maintain arousal, increased comfort with penetration and overall ability to enjoy sex.

Kegels are a good place to start, for both men and women. Exercises that help sustain blood flow for the penis, and toys or play that keeps a vagina stretched and ready to receive are additional options.

And if you have a partner, sharing a little TLC, cock-training, cuddle time, adult film watching or reading out loud from your favorite erotic romance can keep those endorphins flowing and improve your overall connectedness and well being, even if it doesn’t always lead to intercourse or orgasm.

4)    Exercise your Brain

We all know that the brain is the most important sex organ – to establish and maintain arousal as our bodies change, we’ll want to keep our brains as primed as possible! I’m not just talking crossword puzzles and Sudoku here (though I do lots of both). Keep learning things, keep finding new and stimulating topics that spark your interest. One of our favorite coffee hangouts has the motto “life is short – stay awake for it.” Works for us!

5)    Learn how to talk to yourself

It’s all about motivation – we all have those days when we just don’t feel like putting in the hard work. It’s okay to skip a day once in a while, but it’s crucial to pick it back up once we’ve taken that break and keep it going. Learn what your prime motivating factors are and practice using them: what threat or reward is most likely to get you up off that couch and following your regimen again? I have several – here are a couple of them. It took me years to get rid of those love handles that used to hang over the waistband of my jeans, and I don’t want them back. Yes, that’s vanity – whatever works! I also have the specter of dementia and Alzheimer’s disease hanging over me on both sides of my gene pool, and there are certainly mornings where that fear alone drives me to get back at it. When the going gets tough, know what kind of pep talk to give yourself.

6)    Build a support network and use it

Keeping up with all these practices is very hard work. Sometimes self-talk alone still isn’t enough to keep us going or to re-start the engines. We need buddies – cheerleaders, even, who can encourage us, teach us, and light the way. People in your support network don’t have to be privy to your deepest sexual secrets – they might not even know staying sexy is an important goal for you. But maintaining sexual health is so integrally connected to all other aspects of a healthy lifestyle that anything your friends can contribute to keeping you on track will spill over into the rest of it. Cheerleaders, workout buddies, mentors, fellow travelers – we all feel better and live better when we’re connected to others in these ways.

Share what you’re learning

For my husband and me, writing this column and writing our erotic romance novels have both contributed beyond measure to keeping us vibrant, healthy, excited and sexy. For one thing, hardly a day goes by that we’re not talking or learning about something sexual. What works for you? What have we left out that you would never do without? How do you re-boot yourself when it starts to feel too hard? We’d love to include reader comments and ideas in future columns, so drop us a comment or an email.

Have fun – and Stay Sexy!

 
© 2017 Adriana Kraft. All Rights Reserved.