Archive for ‘LGBT’

What kind of Bi?

We just ran across a very interesting article on the wide range of desires and experiences that are included within the broad definition of bisexuality. Kathy Labriola, R.N., is a bi- and poly-friendly counselor in the SF Bay area whose writings on bisexuality and polyamory have been published on line by a friend of hers. In “What is bisexuality? Who is bisexual?” she describes thirteen specific types based on the work of J. R. Little. There are probably many more permutations and combinations out there, but we like this approach as a place to start.

Sometimes we write heroines who’ve been chiefly heterosexual but expand their horizons and discover that they’re also attracted to women. Some of these would fall under the “alternating bisexuals” designation in her typology – persons who have relationships serially, with one gender and then the other. Martha Richards of The Mistress of Purgatory Point most resembles this type. Others are more like “concurrent relationship bisexuals.” They have a primary relationship with a single gender, but at the same time have “casual or secondary relationships” with persons of the other gender. If things work out for Merry Delaney in The Merry Widow, that would be her hope.

Mistress 150        Merry 150

Luci Parker, heroine of Writing Skin, is altogether different. She’s known she is bi for a long time. She’s not sure she could ever settle for a primary relationship with one or the other, and she’s pretty much given up trying. Loving both is part of who she is. Her first choice would be what Labriola calls “integrated bisexuals,” persons who have “more than one primary relationship at the same time, one with a man and one with a woman.”

Skin 150

The story of how she finds her partners – a man and a woman – is tender, funny, fraught with anxiety and uncertainty, soul-searching and heartwarming. You can find an excerpt here – enjoy!


Getting Bi Revisited

Under the radar with all the focus on the marvelous advances in marriage equality this week, there have been some great posts on bisexuality. Over at Queers United yesterday was a forum on the bisexual/bi-racial overlap with the following observation:

“Society tends to see things in black or white and often does not see shades of gray. Differences challenge us to open our minds and see that most things and people are not an absolute but simply fall into some shade or variation of whatever attribute we happen to be discussing at the time.”

That may be why so many in the movement embrace the term “queer” instead of “GLBT” or some other alphabet combination that perpetuates the notion of neat categories.

Over at, a fabulous spoof on lesbian clichés and stereotypes brought out a spate of bi responders who’ve endured insults, criticism and attacks from both sides, just for being bi. Even so, there were many voices lifting up the riches of being bi. My favorite was a comment from Lilah, who re-wrote said alphabet to place bi in the middle and have it both ways: “Actually, GBLT is exactly how I refer to it, because I like to think of it as a lovely gay sandwich, with delicious rainbow mayonnaise.”

Our blog title today is based on the title of one of my favorite books. I heartily recommend Getting Bi by Robyn Ochs – authentic voices from the international bi community on a wide range of issues, and compelling articles providing food for thought. We’ll give you a more thorough review in a future blog.

Comments on the blog raised another interesting notion – if bisexuals were more accepted into the queer/GLBT community and felt more comfortable, their numbers could greatly swell rallies across the nation for the entire spectrum of gay rights. April’s already been filled with amazing opportunities and will continue to be so as the marriage equality campaign heats up. Maybe we’ll catch you at a rally!


Proud to be an Iowan

I’m speechless but I’ll try. I was not optimistic heading into yesterday’s Iowa Supreme Court marriage equality ruling but we both made plans to be at our local rally, win or lose. What a momentous day – a bold move in a long string of historic Iowa decisions for civil rights and equality.

Already there are negative voices and movements afoot to revoke these hard won rights, but there are also voices of hope. The Iowa Democratic Majority has already issued a strongly worded statement in support of the decision. Here’s a quote:

News Release

For Immediate Release: April 3, 2008

Senate Majority Leader Mike Gronstal

House Speaker Pat Murphy


Iowa continues to be a leader in guaranteeing civil rights


This is a joint statement from Iowa Senate Majority Leader Mike Gronstal and

Iowa House Speaker Pat Murphy on today’s Supreme Court decision:


“Thanks to today’s decision, Iowa continues to be a leader in guaranteeing all of our citizens’ equal rights. 


The court has ruled today that when two Iowans promise to share their lives together, state law will respect that commitment, regardless of whether the couple is gay or straight. 


“When all is said and done, we believe the only lasting question about today’s events will be why it took us so long. It is a tough question to answer because treating everyone fairly is really a matter of Iowa common sense and Iowa common decency.”


What this means, I think, is that there’s no chance of a legislative move against the decision until at least after the 2010 elections, and we’ll have our work cut out for us to continue to send a progressive and forward thinking legislature to Des Moines in that election.

You can bet we’ll be doing everything we can to help this happen. One project I’m very proud of is our participation in To Love and to Cherish, an anthology of lesbian love stories at Sapphic Planet:

Love is universal. Marriage is… not. But it should be. It is a matter of civil rights and equal protection. The writers of SapphicPlanet and loveyoudivine joined forces to bring you diverse and heartfelt stories of the many forms of lesbian love and yes… marriage.

Cover art: Lara Zielinskytoloveandtocherishthumb
Publisher: loveyoudivine
Genre: Lesbian Romance
Release: August 2009
Pages: TBD
ISBN: 978-1-60054-322-7

This project began in indignant response to the passage of Prop 8 in California and Amendment 2 in Florida, denying the civil right of marriage to same-sex couples. All proceeds will benefit Marriage Equality USA.

And of course we’ll continue our efforts to bring you exciting erotic stories with happy endings for our many Bi heroines who so deeply want it both ways.

Here’s to being part of Iowa history!


with heartfelt thanks to One Iowa and Lamda Legal

© 2017 Adriana Kraft. All Rights Reserved.