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Ask the Sex Expert!

Do you think of yourself as an expert? Apparently Mr. Tweet thinks I’m an expert in Erotica – here’s the message he sent me a couple months ago: “Hi Adriana! You are invited to the Erotica community because members nominated you as an expert they’d love to hear from.”

 

Sounds enticing! I’m happy to claim being an expert on many aspects of sex and erotica – what turns me on, what fantasies I can’t resist, what I love to read – and these are the elements my husband and I take pains to put into the stories we write under our pen name Adriana Kraft. We hope you find them as entertaining and tantalizing as we do!

If you’re tempted to turn some of those fantasies into reality?? Hubby and I aren’t the experts here, and we don’t run an advice column, but we’ve found the perfect source for you: Ask Dan and Jennifer! Have you run into them? I found them on line when we were talking to friends about Swinging Games, our Extasy series on the Swing Lifestyle. I Googled some swing terms to demonstrate the range of what’s out there – and up popped a video of Dan and Jennifer explaining how one half of a married couple could start the conversation about swinging without being threatening or scaring the other partner into the next universe. Very nicely done, I might add!

So we thought it would be fun to give our readers a taste of some of the expertise Dan and Jennifer have to offer. Here’s one of my favorites: How to find your swinging comfort zone:

 

Here’s a little more about them, from their website: “Ask Dan & Jennifer is a very popular and respected Love & Sex web show, advice column, online magazine, and relationship support community.”

Their mission? “We will answer your questions openly, honestly, and without bias or judgment. Question Everything! Our mission is to help people create conscious relationships based on love and acceptance rather than fear, jealousy, anger, and ownership. It’s time to move on from outdated ideas about love and sex.” Sounds a lot like our mission, and we heartily applaud!

Check out some of their hottest topics:

How To Enhance Your Sex Life – http://bit.ly/aNnk3G

First Time Sex Tips – How To Lose Your Virginity In Style – http://bit.ly/b8gV82 

A Little Sexual Tension Can Be Just What A Relationship Needs http://bit.ly/bRPCD9

1,001 Best Places to Have Sex #172: In the Closet at a Friend’s Party – http://bit.ly/ce11Zn

How To Give A Woman Her First Orgasm (Video) – http://bit.ly/bC0AzI

Fun Sex Games To Try With Your Partner – http://bit.ly/9MIqPI

Bondage Basics – http://bit.ly/cYXPcc  Including Video & Pics!!

One Way Successful Couples Make Love Last – http://bit.ly/bAJdef  

Where to find Dan and Jennifer:

Website
YouTube channel
Dan and Jennifer TV
Dan and Jennifer on Twitter 

Have fun and play safe!

 

Radio Interview Today!

Host and author Sascha Illyvich recently interviewed me for The UnNamed Romance Show at Radio Dentata. The show will air Thursday June 17 at 6:00 pm Eastern.

The UnNamed Romance Show 

I can’t remember half of what we covered but we had a great time talking about everything from LGBT erotic romance to equal marriage rights, activism, e-book publishers, the writing process, swingers, erotic romance research and more!Adriana Kraft
“The intimacy is genuine and breathtaking!”
Krista, Coffee Time Romance
http://adrianakraft.com

 

 

The Cougar Image – Positive or Negative?

When author/editor Jolie DuPre conceptualized The Cougar Book and put out her call for submissions over a year ago, both halves of Adriana were thrilled. We knew immediately we wanted to be in that book and we had no problem coming up with our fantasy of a perfect evening for an older woman’s first time out with a stunning younger man. We’re proud to have made the cut – our story, “A Taste of Ginger,” is one of the twenty-two stories finally selected for the anthology, released on Valentine’s Day 2010 at Logical Lust and available in both print and e-book.

We’ve never hesitated celebrating the powerful and enticing imagery we associate with the image of the cougar. In the words of The Cougar Book’s introduction by Valerie Gibson, Canadian TV personality and author, cougars are

“skilled—and creative—in the sexual arts . . .They love to make love and enjoy it for what it is—a joyful, satisfying, energizing, and life-enhancing activity that keeps you youthful and vital. What’s more, it’s fun! It’s a rare and precious attribute for any woman, but when it comes with enthusiasm and few strings attached? Priceless!”

 

Both of us are also longtime fans of TV and film star Kim Cattrall. In her role as “Samantha” in Sex and the City and in her personal life, she epitomizes the positive qualities we associate with “cougar.” Through her books and many personal appearances she continues to encourage women to embrace their lives, their bodies and their sexuality. Some quotes:

Asked by Amazon.com to explain what she means by sexual intelligence: “A person who knows what they like! And has some idea why … I used the word intelligence in the title of the book and the documentary because it reflects my desire to gather whatever insights, inspirations, and information that could nourish the part of us that is sexual and sensual, so that it might be strong and function well.”

 

In a recent interview for TheaterMania.com promoting Sex and the City II: “We have encouraged a lot of women to change the way they feel about being single, about having cancer, being lonely, and I think that’s a powerful thing in this era of post-feminism. I think we have helped to find what it is to be successful, smart, and feminine.”

 

But it turns out she – and many others – think the term is derogatory and the cougar trend is on its way out. PopEater.com puts it this way in Saying goodbye to the Cougar Trend:

“And so now it looks like we’re going to have to look at Pfeiffer, Cox, Cattrall and other aging actress for what they really are: confident, successful women whose talent has kept them in the spotlight beyond an arbitrary media-determined sell-by date. Rather than agree to hide behind some sort of cartoon send-up of what an attractive older woman is, these ladies are redefining how we see life after you spot that first wrinkle.”

 

Cattrall recently turned down a cover spot on a major women’s magazine because they wanted her to pose with a cougar – and to her, that term and that imagery are derogatory. She told Extra “I really take umbrage to the code ‘cougar’ …I think cougar has a negative connotation, and I don’t see anything negative about Samantha and her sexuality, sensuality and choice.” Over at The Today Show in an interview with Meredith Viera she clarified, “I feel there is nothing predatory about a woman of a certain age. The stereotype is that the woman is searching for young men like they’re prey, and I just don’t think that’s good enough.”

We’ve received lots of positive comments from readers who are inspired by the cougar concept and love the fantasies, so we’re curious – what does the cougar image mean to YOU? Positive or negative, celebratory or derogatory, powerful or demeaning? Eager to hear from you!

 
© 2018 Adriana Kraft. All Rights Reserved.
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